It is sometime in 1994, and I am transcribing these manuscripts.  At one point in this process; I came to a terrifying realization after transcribing one devotee’s remembrance.  I printed out a copy of this document, and took it first to my godbrother Kurma-rupa Dasa (another member of the JIVAS project).  I expressed my conclusion to him and then I said to him,

“Prabhu!  Please read this transcription and tell me if you come to the same conclusion I have just expressed to you?” 

He read it in front of me; which took a while for it was 30 pages long.  His face started to a show sign of astonishment, and non-belief.  When he finished, he turned his head and looked at me and said in a rather sad and serious voice, 

“Yes!  I agree with you”. 

I did the same with Kundali Dasa, and he also said that he came to the same conclusion.

Now I will tell you what that conclusion or realization is:

“Srila Prabhupada was poisoned!”.   

Please note that, at that time, there had never been any rumor or mention by anyone of such a thing.  It was un-imaginable..

I shared this document and my conclusion with several of my close God brothers in Vrindavan.  Yep!  Somehow or another; I believe, that somehow or another, this was the beginning of the “Poison Rumor”.  Vrindavan has the Kartika festival in the Fall; and many thousands of devotees attend from most countries in the world.  Hence, there is the possibility for rumors to spread to the remainder of the ISKCON world.  Many years later a God brother, forgotten his name, contacted me by e-mail sometime around 2004 or 2005.  He claimed the he was investigating this “Poison Theory” and had come to know that I had these copies of the manuscripts that were remembrances of Srila Prabhupada during the last months of his life.  He asked me if he could have copies of them.  I told him that I would think about it; and would contact him later.  That never happened because I decided straight away not to provide him with these documents because I was going to produce a book of Srila Prabhupada last months on this planet Earth.  Moreover, I did not know who this devotee was, never heard of him, and I had a feeling that I could not trust him.  I never replied to him, and I never heard from him also.

Now it is November 2021, and I have a good feeling that I will have finished this book by the end of the year. Well, I have an update, it is now February 6^th, 2022, and I am not even close to finishing.  This project is enormous, and if it were a printed book, it would be at least 1,000 pages.  I do hope that it will be finished sometime before 2023. 

Most of these document’s l requires “transcription to Word Document files.  It is very laborious to do this by putting the document next to me on my desk and copy it by typing on MS Word.  Lucky for me that all this time has gone by without completing this aspect of the project.  I now have the assistance of Bhakta-Abbyy-Fine-Reader, which is a powerfully piece of software.  All I must do now, is scan these documents in to a scan file format on to my computer, and this software program will produce a MS Word document for me in a matter of a minute or so. 

At this time, I will launch, by the early 2022, a web-site and this book will be available to read on-line or download in several formats and media in the future.  I hope you enjoy reading this book and I will leave it to your own scrutiny, inspection, examination, and analysis.   I will surely wonder if you also come to the same conclusion.

Besides this aspect of the book; it is otherwise full of great and wonderful remembrances; that unquestionably come under the category of Srila Prabhupada “NECTAR”.  Most of what happened during the last months of Srila Prabhupada life was previously told or written about by senior ISKCON authorities.  Never were we told that these transcripts existed.  The questions I ask and needs answers are:

Why did Satsvarupa Goswami not use these transcripts in producing the “Srila Prabhupada Lilamrta”??? 

And even more mysteriously; is it not strange that a small file room, at a ISKCON temple, burn out on the inside; causing only extensive damage to the inside of the steel file cabinets ONLY???

How could a fire, in such a small room, start???

And even more mysteriously; even if there was a fire inside this file room.  How could all the contents in “steel sheet” filing cabinet be completely destroyed/consumed into ashes?  Would not the filing cabinet give some protection and only leave charred marks on the edge’s documents???

And how could a small fire that did not spread to the rest of the temple complex just burn inside the small file room, consume everything inside the filing cabinets and then die out and not spread to the remainder of the building???

These events make no sense to me; but the transcripts of these normal, ordinary Srila Prabhupada disciples make a whole lot of sense; and especially the one that led me to my conclusion.  So now you can have the opportunity to read or hear for yourself from this wide range of Srila Prabhupada disciples; what they remember about associating with or being around him.  With this book, you will get the best, and unsurpassed understanding of Srila Prabhupada’s last months on this planet Earth; and especially the last month which is the most disturbing.

Your Servant, Upendranath Dasa

January 29, 2022

P.S.: “I dedicate this book to all of Srila Prabhupada’s sincere disciples”.  Also, the reason there is a “section” by the title of “Prologue” is that I have many documents that do not have the “two-digit” code.  Therefore, I decided, that in order to save time, I would just put these remembrances, in a section by themselves, at the beginning.  As I wrote the Prologue, and Section “81”, I have realized, that it really dos not matter to have them in subequal order.  It is kind of like a writing technique, that tells a story, not sequentially, rather, the story is told by hopping around in time, into the past, than back to the future, and then back to the present time; that is the nature of the Prologue Section.  Nevertheless, the two-digit Sections of 81 to 86, do give a sequential time line of some sorts.