Was Srila Prabhupada Systematically “Positioned”?
Vrindavana, 1976 Part 11
This is a fantastic complement considering the racial structure of this country. They were so nice to me, black people. I mean they bent over backwards to be nice to me. And I attribute it to Prabhupada wanted me to preach here. I mean, because who am I anyways. Some complete maniac going up there, not even a good devotee, and everybody likes me. I really always attribute it to Srila Prabhupada’s potency. He gave it to me.
Just like if I give you ten dollars for apparently no reason. You would think that this man has so much potency he can give it me. Srila Prabhupada is a fantastic personality. And I will never find a devotee like that. He has the potency.
I do not have potency, I have a little bit, but I do not have potency that I should have to do something. These people, my Godbrothers, they have more potency than me, that is for sure.
But time will tell really what is going to happen to devotees, because we are so young. This movement is so young. And I do not think that I like these devotees more. I used to have bad feelings against my Godbrothers. I do not have any bad feelings against them now. But I really worry about them because, well, they, do not worry about me. Sometimes.
Once I heard Hamsadutta calls the New York temple, and inquired about me, and wanted to know how I was. That is fantastic for me. That anyone would even remember me. But at least he has that respect. But these other ones, they could not care less about me. But I still feel for them because they are pushing this movement forward.
Once I saw a letter to Risi-Kumar. Prabhupada really took a lot of time to teach Risi-Kumar so many things – cooking, and this and that. He really liked Risi-Kumar. Do not think that I am saying that Rsi-Kumar is any more special than anyone else, it is simply an extension of Prabhupada’ s mercy that he spent so much time with him. Maybe because he was so fallen, that he needed it. I have no idea. But Prabhupada gave him a lot of precious time, valuable time. So what happens? Risi-Kumar left. Before he left, he was having so much trouble.
I remember they threw me out of the temple once in New York and Risi-Kumar was the president, and he ok’d me getting thrown out. Then he met me on the train once.
“You know I never wanted to throw you out. I think you are a nice person and everything; but they told me this and that.”
“Oh, I knew you did not want to throw me out.”
Wow! Can you believe that? Just like this person Bali Mardan, who was GBC and also one of two BBT Trustees. Bali Mardan gave me trouble, like a demon from hell, who gave many devotees trouble. I could never understand it. But he gave me trouble like we were just enemies in our last life. Then he left the movement, came back, left again and then came back a second time. Then he ran into me, and he said that he heard that I put a curse on him. Actually I did put a curse on him; but I was so embarrassed when he said that.
“Oh, I never put a curse on you.”
Usually I do not lie, but I was so embarrassed. Not for putting a curse on him. I was so embarrassed how weak he was, and that I had misjudged it so badly to think he was so fantastic. When actually, meanwhile he was not what everyone thought he was. So then, from then on, I do not judge these devotees anymore by position they hold. Because, that is not the way to judge devotees.