The “Last Six Months”; Was He Systematically Poisoned? 

Srila Prabhupada's Antya-lila
" 81 "

6 Months Prior to Srila Prabhupada’s Departure

Segment 71
Bhaktijana Dasa
Vrindavana, 1976
Part 13

So once he was walking down the block one day and I was selling jewelry and here comes Madhavisa and looking just like a regular person; but still has on his neck beads.  When I saw him, I was so embarrassed for him?  Because as much trouble as he gave me; I do not like to see him fall.  And this is the way devotees should feel.

I remember when the gopis they had an argument, they would be bad to one another, nasty or something.  But then when they were confronted with the other person, they felt very bad about it.  They would talk about each other.  One gopi would say the other one is not doing this properly and this and they would kind of compete to serve Krishna.  But when they saw the other person, they would feel immediately bad.

You cannot take those things seriously amongst the devotees.  Anyway I never did.  I always felt bad.  As rotten as I would feel about somebody when they would be giving me a hard time.  When I would see them fallen, it was distasteful.  Devotees should not take pleasure in seeing other devotees get hurt, or fall.  I admit I have; I have taken pleasure in that kind of situation.  When Bali Mardan fell down; I took pleasure in that for just a moment, which is really ridiculous.  But I did, and that is my fall down.  That is my weakness.  I remember Prabhupada said once that as soon as you think everything is alright, then you fall down.  So Bali Mardan fell down, my arch enemy, and I am thinking everything’s alright.  Sure enough, it is my turn to fall down; actually not my turn to fall, I am already fallen. 

My potency is mixed.  So this is the problem we have in transcending material nature.  It is not just selling some bazookas.  The biggest book distributor, you know Gopavindra Pala.  No one knows where he is now.  Do you know where he is?

Baladeva replied,

“He is still around.  I heard recently he is here.”

 Well, I heard he is out.  He is gone.

Baladeva asked,

“Are you sure Gopavindra Pala or….”

Well, Gopavindra Pala is a big-book distributor.  I do not know if it is a rumor; but I heard that within months.  In any case, whether he left or he did not; we have seen very big pushers on of this movement leave and the only thing you can say is that they were not protecting their Krishna consciousness.  It is very dangerous pushing on.  It is difficult and it is dangerous.

I remember Prabhupada said once that as soon as you think everything is alright, then you fall down.  So Bali Mardan fell down, my arch enemy, and I am thinking everything’s alright.  Sure enough, it is my turn to fall down; actually not my turn to fall, I am already fallen. 

My potency is mixed.  So this is the problem we have in transcending material nature.  It is not just selling some bazookas.  The biggest book distributor, you know Gopavindra Pala.  No one knows where he is now.  Do you know where he is?

Baladeva replied,

“He is still around.  I heard recently he is here.”

 Well, I heard he is out.  He is gone.

Baladeva asked,

“Are you sure Gopavindra Pala or….”

Well, Gopavindra Pala is a big-book distributor.  I do not know if it is a rumor; but I heard that within months.  In any case, whether he left or he did not; we have seen very big pushers on of this movement leave and the only thing you can say is that they were not protecting their Krishna consciousness.  It is very dangerous pushing on.  It is difficult and it is dangerous.

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