Was Srila Prabhupada Systematically “Positioned”?
Vrindavana, Bombay, Mayapur, 1976-1977 Part 9
So then Prabhupada went to Delhi and I went to Delhi the day after too. I thought all right, I will get married, because Bhagaji was on my case, trying to convincing me. It was back and forth like this. So I went to Delhi to arrange the registrar wedding. Prabhupada was preparing to go to Ahmadabad, I think. So I was staying in the temple there. One morning after Mangal Arotik, everyone converged on me. There were at least fifty devotees telling me that I am nonsense, and that I should not get married.
Yasodanandana was quoting every sloka in the book, you know against women. They pinned me right in the corner. I was fried. So I said I have to speak with Prabhupada. Hamsadutta Maharaja came in to Prabhupada’s room with me; Prabhupada-krpa too. They both came together with me to see Prabhupada, and it was just like getting to be like Twilight Zone. Prabhupada had his table lamp on. He was reading a letter underneath the light. His room was dark. So I came in and he said,
“bh, why have you come?”
I sort of crawled up to his desk and said,
“Prabhupada, there’s a problem.”
Now Prabhupada had heard the whole conversation in the next room going on, everyone on my case. Because he was living next door, but no one knew, he was listening in. So then he said,
“What is the difficulty?”
“There are three GBCs in the next room–Gopal Krishna, Gargamuni, and. Jagadisha. You cannot solve the problem with the GBC?”
“Prabhupada! I want to tell you very honestly; in this particular issue I feel they are not being rational; there’s too much motivation involved.”
Hamsadutta was there and four GBCs. So I said,
“Over the last two years this desire to get married has become manifest in my heart. It is getting stronger and stronger, and I do not know what to do. In one sense I want to please you but what should I do?”
So he looked very stern and said
“What is wrong with marriage?”
“I do not know. I am not objecting, but it seems I should not get married.”
“Who is saying this?”
“Everybody.” I replied.
So Prabhupada said,
“What is this nonsense? There is nothing wrong with getting married.”
“Well Prabhupada, Hamsadutta was offering that I should come with him and go on sankirtana and I could transcend the desire by being fully engaged in book distribution.”
“Going here and there. Brahmanda bhramite kona bhagyavan jiva – wandering here and there. The problem is in your mind. Wherever you go your mind is with you. That is not the solution to go here and there, here and there. (He quotes Sanskrit) One who controls the senses and organs of action and whose mind dwells on sense objects certainly deludes himself and is called a pretender. Gunarnava, this is the worst thing that a devotee can be is a pretender. Pretending that you transcended. And as a result, you are a pretender. This is useless.”