Was Srila Prabhupada Systematically “Positioned”?
Delhi, Vrindavana, Bombay, Mayapur, 1976-1977 Part 10
So Hamsadutta Maharaja, who had just taken sannyasa because Prabhupada had instructed him about the nature of women. Hamsadutta was generalizing; he was taking Prabhupada’s instruction and generalizing it on me. But Prabhupada has individual instructions also for the person. He said,
“I want you to get married.”
“Another thing I have been told is that it is Maya to get married in Vrindavana.”
Prabhupada said – his eyes were like saucers,
“What? Who has said this? Who is this nonsense? Tell me his name? Who is that? Tell me,”
And I did not want to say. It was Prabhupada-krpa and he was sitting. right next to Prabhupada. I said,
Prabhupada-krpa started to clear his throat. It took him about twenty minutes to clear his throat. He said,
“Well Prabhupada, you said in your books that to have sex in Vmdavana is Maya.
Srila Prabhupada replied,
“What do you know about my books?”
I cannot remember exactly what he said to Prabhupada, but at this particular point Hamsadutta left the room. Everyone was waiting in the next room. So Srila Prabhupada said,
“Gunarnava, I want you to get married, go back to Vrindavana, get rooms, live with your wife, be happy, and be responsible.”
That was the instruction. So then Prabhupada-krpa left. It was just me and Prabhupada, and I was just relishing that. So then I moved right up to the desk and I folded my hands like this and I said,
“Prabhupada, to me actually brahmacari or grhastha does not matter. What I want to do is to please you. I want to please you. You are my spiritual master.”
So Prabhupada said,
“This is correct. Yasya prasadad bhagavata prasado…, that by pleasing the spiritual master you please Krishna. If you want to please me you get married, you go to Vrindavana, you get rooms with your wife, you be happy and be responsible.”
So then I went out. When I went out everyone was looking at me and many were asking questions, because so many of those brahmacaris also wanted to get married, but there was just so much false ego. So then I got married.
Then Prabhupada went to the Mayapur festival, and then he got sick. That was when he slowly degenerated, to the point where he died. So then I thought to myself, how am I going to maintain myself and my wife? How could I maintain that situation? Prabhupada has given me this instruction. How do I maintain? Here I am in Vrindavana. I do not have any money; my parents aren’t rich – I cannot ask them for money. I was also proud. I do not like to depend on my parents for things like that. So I was thinking, this is very difficult
All of a sudden, it was very clear. I was sitting in my little brahmacari hut made with bricks, and with a straw roof. I went to Bhagaji and I told him,
“Bhagaji, I have this idea. I want to get a cow, one or two cows, and in that way, I can sell milk to the temple, and just make minimal money to live on. I also did not want to live off the temple money. What do you think?”
At first Bhagaji thought; this is very nice, because Prabhupada wanted cows. Before that Dhananjaya was in charge of Taboria House, the goshala. It was not the goshala then; it was just a muktuk business. He was just starting to develop that thing. So Kishori was living over there, and she had a cow; but it was not maintained properly, and Prabhupada was disappointed. He was saying,
“My disciples cannot do anything. They are useless.”
I was thinking, let me get these cows. I borrowed Rs. 3,000 off one devotee and bought my first cow, Kalindi. Very beautiful cow. We bought her in Vrindavana for Rs. 1,100. Then three days later I went to Govardhana. Prabhupada was in Mayapur when I got the cows. Then he stayed in Mayapur; he did not come to Vrindavana festival that year. He stayed in Mayapur because he was too sick to come. This was in 1977, he came in May, after the festival.